twloha:

“Off the Ground”
Tigerweather

“It’s times like these that I wonder
Why we can’t live in our imaginations,
The things we see replaced with how they could be.”

I am the exact definition of an introvert.

The thing is I don’t like being an introvert. It is exhausting. I keep many of my thoughts to myself. I tend to sit back and observe what is happening around me rather than getting involved. I absolutely hate being the center of attention.

Don’t get me wrong. I love people. I love interacting with others and hearing about their lives. I enjoy meeting new people and hearing their stories. I just have trouble letting my guard down and allowing other people to get to know me.

This fact made moving to Florida very difficult for me. I left the few people who truly know me to come to a town full of strangers. I left behind my comfort zone. I sincerely hoped that once I was in Florida, I could allow myself to open up to others without any reserve. I imagined that things would be so easy if I could just change.

Of course, change doesn’t come that easy.

“When I get off the ground,
I’ll lay inside the clouds all day
And stay till the sun goes down.”

The first few weeks of the internship, I stayed quiet. I observed my fellow interns, and I mostly kept to myself. Despite my efforts, I couldn’t just open up and trust those around me. I knew it would take work, but I wasn’t quite comfortable taking that first step.

A couple weeks ago, we had the opportunity to work the TWLOHA booth at Rock Out for a Cause. Maybe it was because of my company or the fact that so many people were vulnerable with us and sharing their fears and dreams. Maybe it was because Tigerweather busted out a ukulele, and everyone I knew started dancing.

Regardless of why, things started to change for me.

I felt myself start to open up. I danced and didn’t really care how I looked. I started to talk and didn’t overthink what I was saying. I took a step toward change, and I was okay.

“When I get off the ground,
The places that I’ve found
Are everything that I
Wish they could be.”

Change is a process. It doesn’t happen overnight, no matter how much you wish it will. It takes work. It requires bravery, honesty, and trust. But, once you take that first step, things start to look a little less scary.

In my case, I realized that everyone around me was changing too. Everyone else is fighting their own battles and making their own changes. They are trusting in me, opening up to me, and sharing pieces of their story. They are just as vulnerable as I wish I could be.

Now, I’ve made goals for myself, and I’m slowly opening up. I’m starting to share pieces of myself in the things I write and say. I’m becoming more vulnerable. It is hard, but I’m getting there, and life is starting to look like what I hoped it might — and even more.

—Hannah
Spring 2012 Intern